I’ve loved the same man more of my life than not. I was 16 when I met him and we started dating. I was 17 when we got married. Yup! 17. High School Sweethearts. We jumped straight into the deep end of #adulting hard core, navigating the messy waters of marriage and preparing to have a baby.
The title of “high school sweethearts” alone speaks to a lifetime of loving the same man and learning and growing together! We know that we steward a rare gift and celebrate every anniversary as the miracle that it is.
I love my man for who he is, who he was and who he is becoming. The love I have for him grows deeper everyday. Now, it’s not all roses and gumdrops but every argument, disagreement, hurt feeling and conversation cultivates the rare gem we call a great marriage.
LEARNING TO LOVE MY MAN
I have learned more in the last ten years about how to love him well in spite of how I feel. As we’ve navigated the calm and rough waters of marriage we are constantly learning and relearning. I am a student of my husband and it’s my job to know what makes him tick and what throws a wrench in things for him.
My heart is for him, to know how and be known by him. I’m convinced the key to a great marriage is our willingness to expose and express our thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams. Our thoughts become feelings that manifest through fears and sabotage our dreams. Chad and I regularly dream together and it’s these dreams that connect our hearts to the purpose for which God designed us as we cheer each other on and embrace every challenge and adventure together.
Because I have purposed to love my man with a fierce love, fight for intimacy and intentionally connect through conversations, I am confident that my God is faithful and my husband feels the same way about me.
THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVING MY MAN
I’ll share a few truths with you that I’ve learned as I purpose to love my man with my whole heart. Loving my man is just as much about letting him love me as it is purposefully loving him.
TRUTH #1- My insecurities rob him. The more I give way to the incorrect assessments I make of myself or situations the more room I give to the wedge the enemy is trying to put between us. If my heart is for my man, I owe it to him and myself to be honest with him. When he compliments me, I do not get to dismiss it with the false belief I have about myself, my body or the situation. I get to take him at his word trusting that he’s telling me the truth
TRUTH #2- My silence pushes him away. When I shut down, he pulls back. Shutting down is not a healthy response to hard things. If my heart is for my man I lean in, even when I’m hurt, mad or offended. When the hard things come at me, he is the one I get to link arms with to stand against the enemy.
TRUTH #3- My encouragement strengthens him. My number one job is to speak life and truth unto my man. Speaking life means I allow my words to encourage and strengthen. That doesn’t mean they’re sugarcoated and pretty all the time. That means my heart is for him and I speak truth motivated by love.
TRUTH #4- My presence comforts him. Sometimes the only thing he needs from me is for me to sit beside him on the couch while he watched a football game to unwind from the day. The ministry of presence is the greatest gift we can give them. But we must be present when we are with them. When my heart is for my man it doesn’t matter if we are doing yard work or going to the spa, together is the best place to be.
TRUTH #5- My needs draw him in. Just because we have needs doesn’t make us needy. Our willingness to share our needs with our man sets the stage for him to win. They can’t read our minds and even with time they don’t know everything. We get to share our needs and let them step in or step up to the challenge of meeting those needs. They might not get it right 100% of the time, but they’ll get it right more often the more open we are to sharing our needs.
TRUTH #6- My vulnerability and willingness to be honest and real allows him to take his rightful place as the leader in our home. He can’t lead if I don’t tell him how I feel loved, valued and encouraged. If I’m not fully me how can he fully love me? I tell him what I love and what I don’t love. I tell him what makes me feel valued and what makes me feel devalued. It’s all important.
I have a heart for my man, Chad Lacefield. My heart beats to love him the way God designed me to love. My joy comes when I see him walking in his greatest purpose. He is the leader in our home, and the leader of my heart. Because he is surrendered to Jesus, seeking direction from His Word and directed by the Holy Spirit, I can trust his intentions are good and his love is true. I choose daily to love Him and him, fight for Christ-likeness and fight for a great marriage. I make my time with the Lord and my time with Chad priority. My words I speak to and about my man honor my Creator and my husband. I am committed to purity in thought, word and action so that I offer my husband intimacy that is reserved for him alone. Love is a gift, cultivated by time and intentionality as we pursue the Lord and each other. Together we embrace adventure, submit to each other, commit to learning and growing, share the truth and love intentionally.
Because of this heart for my man, the Lord allows me to love on and encourage women, marriages and families. It’s all worth it. Every hard conversation, awkward confrontation, truth session or get naked moment… they’re all building the great marriage God designed you for.
What about you, what is your heart for your man?
Praying for you, and your heart for your man. If there’s anything specific I can be praying for you can message me directly or email me. Love you and thanks for allowing me to be apart of your love story.